Welcome to your adult sibling support group!
We hope you enjoy meeting others to share experiences and advice as a sibling.
Purpose of the groups
Being a sibling can be a complex and challenging experience. Whilst we can’t remove all of the stressors in an adult sibling’s life, we can give siblings more resources to cope.
The aims of the group are to:
- Reduce isolation
- Improve wellbeing and resilience
- Share knowledge
What you agree to
Here’s what you agree to as a group member. Please note that these rules apply to all situations that relate to your support group. This might include (but is not limited to):
- In emails to the group facilitator
- In online video meetings
- In face-to-face meetings
- In WhatsApp and Facebook groups
Show up and take part
- I’ll offer support to other members and will accept support myself
- I’ll give new members a warm welcome
- I’ll let the facilitator know if I need to miss a meeting or if I’m going to be late
- I understand that I may be removed from the group mailing list if I fail to respond to emails from the facilitator for several months
- I’ll help the facilitators wherever I can with things like advertising the group, welcoming new members and deciding on topics
- I understand that the group wouldn’t exist without funding. I’ll give my feedback to Sibs so that they know what works, what doesn’t, how to improve and so that they can apply for future funding to keep the group running
Respect others
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- I’ll respect everybody at the group, including the group members and the group facilitator. I will be sensitive to individual needs including culture, beliefs, ethnic background, gender, disability, sexuality and age
- I’ll recognise other siblings’ different experiences of childhood, experiences of bereavement, different expectations of their sibling role and different relationships with their brothers and sisters and involvement (or not) in their care. I will not make judgmental, personal or derogatory comments towards others
- If a member or the facilitator says something that I feel offended by, I’ll pause and calmly ask them for further clarification, because I recognise that their intention may not have been to offend. I acknowledge that this especially applies to any written communication (e.g. email, WhatsApp, Facebook) as it is easy for text to be misinterpreted
- I’ll speak calmly and kindly to others in the group, including the group members and group facilitator. I won’t shout, swear or use an abrupt tone of voice. I will not make demands or threats.
- I’ll respect everyone’s time. I won’t raise issues at the end of the meeting when there isn’t time to discuss them, as I understand that the facilitator and other members need to leave on time
- I’ll share the speaking time equally with other members in the group and won’t dominate the conversation
- I understand that a variety of sibling-related topics will be discussed at the group, and that not all of them will be relevant to my situation. I understand that I don’t have to attend a meeting if I don’t wish to discuss the topic, and I can let the facilitator know this. I understand that I cannot demand that certain topics are covered in the group
- I understand that the group will stick to sibling-related topics of discussion. I understand that if I have other life issues that I require peer support or professional support with, I will seek this elsewhere
- I understand that a peer support group cannot provide one-to-one counselling, and neither can the facilitator. I will seek my own counselling if I need this (click here for advice on How to find a counsellor)
Keep things safe
- For online meetings: I agree not to share the meeting video link with anyone
- For online meetings: I understand that others at the meeting don’t want to be overheard by people in my household. Wherever possible, I’ll join the meeting from a private space in my home and/or use headphones
- For online and face-to-face meetings: I understand that the group is just for siblings and I won’t bring anyone else along
- I agree to keep what we talk about within the group confidential. I know that it’s OK to share something general like ‘today we talked about guilt’ and that it’s not OK to share ‘X said he feels guilty about Y because of Z’
- I understand that if I, or anyone else in the group, discloses an abusive situation affecting them, their disabled brother or sister or other family member then confidentiality will be broken and this needs to be reported by the person themselves or the facilitator (for example, to the police or the local authority)
- I won’t use the group to advertise anything, for my own research projects or for any kind of financial gain
Thank you for taking the time to read these and for abiding by them.
Sibs reserves the right to remove group members who don’t adhere to the group agreement.
What your group facilitator agrees to
Here’s what you agree to as a group facilitator. Please note that these rules apply to all situations that relate to your support group. This might include (but is not limited to):
- In emails to group members and other facilitators
- In online video meetings
- In face-to-face meetings
- In WhatsApp and Facebook groups
Work closely with Sibs
- I’ll attend Sibs training
- I’ll attend catch-ups with Sibs
- I’ll reply to emails Sibs send with details of new members, so that they know they have been received. I understand that if I stop replying to these emails, the group will be removed from Sibs website within two weeks, as Sibs is unable to refer members to an inactive group
- I’ll keep in regular contact with Sibs and let them know if anything changes in my life that affects the group
- I’ll help Sibs with information they need for funding applications and research projects
- I understand that Sibs reserves the right to remove a group facilitator from the volunteer programme, at any time
Show up and take part
- I’ll offer support to members and will accept support myself
- I’ll give new members a warm welcome
- I’ll let the members know if I need to miss a meeting or if I’m going to be late
- I’ll check the group email address twice a week and reply to emails from members and from Sibs
- I’ll send my welcome email to a new member as soon as I receive their details
- I’ll hold meetings every 6-8 weeks unless another pattern has been specifically arranged with my group members and with Sibs. If I’m unable to do this (e.g. due to taking a break from facilitating for personal reasons), I will let members know, so that they can join an alternative group
- I don’t expect to have all the answers and I’ll signpost siblings on to further support if they need it
- I understand that the group wouldn’t exist without funding. I’ll give my feedback to Sibs so that they know what works, what doesn’t, how to improve and so that they can apply for future funding to keep the group running
Respect others
- I’ll respect everybody at the group, including the group members and my co-facilitator (if applicable). I will be sensitive to individual needs including culture, beliefs, ethnic background, gender, disability, sexuality and age
- I’ll recognise other siblings’ different experiences of childhood, experiences of bereavement, different expectations of their sibling role and different relationships with their brothers and sisters and involvement (or not) in their care. I will not make judgmental, personal or derogatory comments towards others
- If a member or co-facilitator says something that I feel offended by, I’ll pause and calmly ask them for further clarification, because I recognise that their intention may not have been to offend. I acknowledge that this especially applies to any written communication (e.g. email, WhatsApp, Facebook) as it is easy for text to be misinterpreted
- I’ll speak calmly and kindly to others in the group, including the group members and my co-facilitator (if applicable). I won’t shout, swear or use an abrupt tone of voice. I will not make demands or threats.
- I’ll respect everyone’s time. I won’t raise issues at the end of the meeting when there isn’t time to discuss them, as I understand the group members and my co-facilitator (if applicable) need to leave on time
- I’ll share the speaking time equally with other people in the group and won’t dominate the conversation
- I understand that a variety of sibling-related topics will be discussed at the group, and that not all of them will be relevant to my situation. I understand that I cannot demand that certain topics are covered in the group
- I understand that the group will stick to sibling-related topics of discussion. I understand that if I have other life issues that I require peer support or professional support with, I will seek this elsewhere
- I understand that a peer support group cannot provide one-to-one counselling, and neither can my co-facilitator (if applicable). I will seek my own counselling if I need this (click here for advice on How to find a counsellor)
Keep things safe
- For online meetings: I agree to only share the video meeting link with group members and my co-facilitator (if applicable)
- For online meetings: I understand that others at the meeting don’t want to be overheard by people in my household. Wherever possible, I’ll join the meeting from a private space in my home and/or use headphones
- For online and face-to-face meetings: I understand that the group is just for siblings and I won’t bring anyone else along
- I’ll agree on the group groundrules and remind members of them at the start of the meetings
- I agree to keep what we talk about within the group confidential. I know that it’s OK to share something general like ‘today we talked about guilt’ and that it’s not OK to share ‘X said he feels guilty about Y because of Z’
- I understand that if anyone in the group discloses an abusive situation affecting them, their disabled brother or sister or other family member then confidentiality will be broken and this needs to be reported by the person themselves or by me as the facilitator. I know that I can go to Sibs for support with this, and that I am not alone
- I won’t use the group to advertise anything, for my own research projects or for any kind of financial gain
- If I’m holding face-to-face meetings, they will be at a public venue, in a private room, such as a separate room within a café or community centre. I will not hold meetings in someone’s home, or in an open space (e.g. open café). I understand that everyone needs privacy to discuss difficult topics
- If I’m holding a sibling social event or outing (e.g. not a formal meeting where difficult topics will be discussed), I understand that it’s OK to hold this in mainstream social spaces as agreed by the group, e.g. cinema, park, restaurant, pub etc. I won’t hold social events in someone’s home
- If I’m holding online meetings, they will be via a secure online platform and will require a specific link or password to access. I will only share this link the registered members of the group
- To comply with GDPR, I won’t share group members emails addresses (unless the specifically give permission for this). This means that I will send all emails to the group using BCC. I understand if I accidentally use CC instead, that this is a data breach and I will apologise to group members and inform Sibs
Thank you for taking the time to read these and for abiding by them.
Sibs reserves the right to remove group facilitators who don’t adhere to the group agreement.
Let us know what you think
We want to make sure the groups continue to meet siblings’ needs, so we send an annual survey to our members and facilitators. We would love to hear what you think. You can also give us feedback about your group at any time, by emailing [email protected]