Adult sibling support groups

Connecting with this group has been a life changing experience and I really value the connection, guidance, advice and support from other people who understand my lived experience without explanation

Adult sibling group member, Sept 2023

Why come to a group?

These friendly groups, run by trained volunteers, are an opportunity for adult siblings to meet and support each other.

Being a sibling can be a complex and challenging experience. Whilst we can’t remove all of the stressors in an adult sibling’s life, we can give siblings more resources to cope.

The aims of the group are to:

• Reduce isolation
• Improve wellbeing and resilience
• Share knowledge

We ask members and facilitators for regular feedback to make sure groups continue to meet siblings’ needs.

As well as our online and face-to-face groups, you can also join our sibling community on facebook here.

Who can join a group?

To join a group you need to:

• Be aged 18 or over
• Currently live in the UK
• Have (or had) a brother or sister who has a lifelong disability from birth*
• Enjoy meeting others!

Some siblings who join a group are carers for their brother/sister, and many aren’t. Some siblings who join are bereaved. You are very welcome, whatever your circumstances or level of involvement (or not) with your brother/sister’s care.

*Types of lifelong disabilities from birth might include: spina bifida, cerebral palsy, mild/moderate/severe or profound and multiple learning disabilities. These can range from Down syndrome, Williams syndrome, autism spectrum disorder (ASD), Asperger syndrome, Rett syndrome, Dravet syndrome, Apert syndrome, Syndromes Without A Name (SWAN), genetic disorders, Cri-du-chat syndrome, Fragile X syndrome and Tuberous Sclerosis Complex (TSC), to other life-limiting conditions and other lifelong physical or learning disabilities from birth. 

Who can’t join?

The groups are just for adult siblings of someone with a lifelong disability from birth (see list above). If you’re a sibling of someone with a severe mental illness, have a look at Rethink Mental Illness – support for siblings.

A sibling-only environment helps siblings to feel comfortable sharing their experiences with others who truly understand. No parents, partners, brothers/sisters, researchers or professionals will be admitted.

Please note, you must currently live in the UK to join any of our online or face-to-face support groups, as we are not funded to support siblings outside of the UK.

What can I expect at a group?

• A friendly hello from our trained volunteer facilitators
• A sibling-only environment that’s safe, confidential and respectful of each member’s different circumstances
• Chat about sibling-related topics (read more in our eBook and guides)
• To share your experiences, tips, advice and information as a sibling and hear the same from others
• To give and receive emotional support
• The chance to help the group with things like advertising and welcoming new members

What isn’t included at a group?

These are friendly and informal peer groups, where people give and receive emotional support.

• Facilitators cannot offer you one-to-one support
• The group cannot offer formal therapy or counselling

If you:

• Have been through a recent trauma or personal crisis
• Are in the very raw stages of a traumatic bereavement

You may benefit more from counselling than from coming to a group. Read our advice on how to find a counsellor. Some siblings have counselling and come to a group alongside this.

Who runs the group?

Groups are run by our trained volunteer facilitators, who are siblings themselves. They’re passionate about helping siblings to meet and support each other. Their role is to get in touch with new members, arrange the meetings and to help everyone in the group talk about sibling issues. The facilitators are members of the group too, and they will give and receive peer support like anyone else. If you’re interested in becoming a facilitator, register your interest here and we’ll be in touch when our next training session is announced. We aim to run the training once every two years (subject to funding).

Meet some of our brilliant facilitator team here:

The groups:

• Red group
  Northern Ireland; Scotland; Wales; England – North east and North West (Durham, Northumberland, Tyne & Wear, Cheshire, Cumbria, Greater Manchester, Lancashire, Merseyside).
• COMING SOON Yellow group
  England – East & West Midlands, Yorkshire & Humber (Derbyshire, Leicestershire, Northamptonshire, Nottinghamshire, Rutland, Herefordshire, Shropshire, Staffordshire, Warwickshire, West Midlands, Worcestershire, East Riding of Yorkshire, South Yorkshire, West Yorkshire, North Yorkshire).
• COMING SOON Blue group
  England – East, South East, South West (Bedfordshire, Cambridgeshire, Essex, Hertfordshire, Norfolk, Suffolk, Berkshire, Buckinghamshire, East Sussex, Hampshire, Isle of Wight, Kent, Oxfordshire, Surrey, West Sussex, Bristol, Cornwall, Devon, Dorset, Gloucestershire, Somerset, Wiltshire)
• London group City of London, Greater London.
• National group For siblings anywhere the UK
• Men’s group Men tend to be underrepresented as siblings, so we have created a support group to allow men to share their perspective with each other. Men are also welcome to join any of the other groups
• And you can also join our private Facebook community, #Siblife. Click here to join this directly.

Where do the groups meet?

The London group alternates each month between meeting online or meeting face-to-face (near Bond St – you’re given the address after you join).

The National group and the Men’s group only meet online.

The Red/Yellow/Blue groups all meet online. They might arrange a face-to-face meet up once or twice a year in sub-groups, if enough members are interested. Each group decides this on an individual basis.

Which group should I join?

You can join any group! You don’t have to join a group that’s in your area, but you might prefer to so that if the group chooses to meet in person you’ll still be able to take part. Some siblings like to be part of more than one group, for example, they’ll join a group where they live and another group where their brother/sister lives. This can be helpful for sharing information/advice in different areas. Some siblings who are keen to meet face-to-face join the London group, even if they don’t live in London, because they’re happy to travel there a few times a year.  

When do the groups meet?

Each group organises their own meeting dates and times, so once you’ve registered (below) the facilitators will be in touch to let you know. Groups are usually held on a weekday evening, for a couple of hours. There’s a meeting every 4 – 8 weeks. You can come to as many or as few as you like, but please do let the facilitator know if you can make it or not – it helps them to plan.

I can’t make group meetings but I still want to connect with other siblings

Join our vibrant Facebook community #Siblife! It’s a place for siblings of people with lifelong disabilities to share joy, stress and everything in between. Click here to join this directly.

What our group members say

“I always look forward to the meetings and leave them feeling a bit lighter.”

“I have met a fantastic group of friends who have always supported me when times are difficult and I feel a much stronger person as a result.”

“It is a safe and trusting environment”

“It was a relief to find I was not alone.”

“It’s a misconception that men don’t want to open up and talk, because we do.”

“After an evening at a group I feel re-energised and able to carry on with the job I have to do but did not choose.”

“I am not someone who connects very automatically with new people, but our situation is so specific that I felt a bond and sense of community from my very first session.”

“It was the first place I really felt I belonged as I had never had the opportunity to meet other siblings prior to the group.”

“It has given me the confidence to regularly take my sister out and try to build a better relationship with her which has also given my parents a bit of respite. I also feel more knowledgeable about care and have been given strategies to talk to my parents about the future which I hope to use when the time is right.”

“I have often felt like there was something wrong with me, or that I’m too needy or immature, whereas I realise now it’s probably the opposite, and having that experience as a lonely sibling skews our perceptions of ourselves. I recently joined the group for adult siblings and it’s so nice to know other people are in the same boat.”

I’d like to join a group

1. Read the group member agreement 
2. Fill in this form
3. A group facilitator will get in touch with the date and time of their next meeting

I’d like to start a group

We’re reliant on enthusiastic volunteers coming forward to run these groups and we’re grateful to have so many across the UK already. If you’re interested in starting a group, join our mailing list and we’ll be in touch when our next training session is announced.

Feedback

Sibs would like to thank all the adult siblings on our reader panel who generously shared their time and experiences to help develop this page. Interested in joining our reader panel? Click here to find out more.

What do you think of this page? Drop us a line at [email protected] or fill in this feedback form.