Autism: The Sibling Perspective

The collection includes stories, poetry and art from siblings in their late teens to siblings in their 60s, siblings who are bereaved, siblings who have two or more autistic brothers/sisters, siblings who were young carers and siblings who are carers today, and many more different sibling experiences.

We asked adult siblings how they would describe the collection. Here are some of the responses:

• “Autism creates really unique challenges and joys for a family, and this collection covers such a diverse range of experiences.”
• “There is a good mix of positive and negative aspects of sibling lives in these stories. I think too often people can slip into seeing autism in such a polar way, as either a devastating affliction or an amazing superpower, that it would help to have a look through our stories and see our brothers and sisters as just people. They have their own likes, dislikes, communication style, aspirations, challenges, triumphs, and you can see this all throughout the collection.”
• “This collection is a really accessible slice of life of being the sibling of an autistic person.  I think reading about autism from a sibling’s perspective is much more colourful, lively, and resonant than reading a medicalised definition”
• “It shows what life is really like for siblings who often go unrecognised as carers, or who whose needs come second to somebody else.”
• “This is amazing”

We’d love to hear your thoughts after you’ve read the collection too – email [email protected]

Siblings tell us how much they appreciate reading sibling experiences and stories that they can relate to. So often the sibling experience is hidden and siblings report feeling isolated. As a sibling, being able to relate to others by reading the stories may help you feel seen, can increase your confidence and could enrich your relationships too.

At the back of the collection there are also some discussion questions. These are great for you to use as journal prompts to reflect on yourself, or to use as a starting point for talking about your sibling experiences with others around you, such as other siblings, your friends, family and partner. Some siblings might ask their partner or parents to read the collection too, to help them understand more about what sibling life is like.

We asked adult siblings: “What will other siblings gain from reading this?”. Here are some of the responses:

• “A strong feeling of not being alone in what they are going through.”
• “These stories are from various points in people’s journeys and serve to provide hope to those early on and a chance for reflection for those who are further along their journey.”
• “A sense of being heard and seen.”
• “I grew up with an autistic sibling and I found myself learning things while reading this collection!”

We’d love to hear your thoughts after you’ve read the collection too – email [email protected]

If you’re a friend, family member or partner of a sibling, reading this may deepen your understanding of them and could improve your relationship. Many siblings are shaped by their experiences growing up with an autistic brother/sister and it can impact their lives as adults. Read the collection together if you can and ask them which stories resonate with them and why. Use the discussion questions included to take the conversation further.

If you work in health, social care or education, you’ll likely gain more insight into the lives of the siblings you support, and what their joys, needs and challenges are. This will help you understand how you can best support them. Use the discussion questions included to reflect on your own experiences of reading the collection and to think about how siblings might answer those questions too.

We asked adult siblings: “What will non-siblings gain from reading this?”. Here are some of the responses:

• “Non-siblings can learn that growing up with an autistic brother or sister can be rewarding, but also challenging, and they can glean ways to help.”
• “Non-siblings hopefully will gain some understanding and knowledge of what drives and shapes their friends and work mates who have autistic siblings.”
• “The chance for insight and opportunity to see the raw truth of sibling experiences, the mixture of emotions and small considerations that need to be made daily to support their autistic brother or sister. The complex family relationships that arise in childhood and often continue throughout adulthood are prominent themes in these stories.”

We’d love to hear your thoughts after you’ve read the collection too – email [email protected]

Autism: The Sibling Perspective is part of our Confident Caring programme, bringing together siblings who have an autistic brother or sister. It is supported by the Boshier Grant Scheme and the National Lottery Community Fund (Awards for All). Click here to find out more.